Roy's Answering Machine
by Fists of Feury
Summary: Mustang's very own answering machine, finally! Will he ever call any of them back? How many death threats will he get? Will Armstrong ever stop callng? WILL THE IDENTITIES OF MR. FLUFFIKINS AND SNUGGLEBEAR BE REVEALED? Read and find out!
1. Part I

**Phone Messages**

**The following takes place on Roy Mustang's answering machine after a long day's work.**

Answering machine: "You have one…hundred new messages."

Roy: (sigh) "Might as well get this over with."

Answering machine: "First message" (beep): COLONAL MUSTANG! MY DEAR FRIEND, HOW ARE YOU? IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG! WE MUST HAVE A GET TOGETHER ON THE NEXT SPECIAL OCCASION AND DISCUSS MY FAMILY LINIAGE! DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW THE ARMSTRONGS WERE THE FIRST TO INVENT THE ANSWERING MACHINE? WHAT A FINE CONTRAPTION IT IS. IT ALL STARTED BACK WHEN MY GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT-(beep)

Roy: "Damn Armstrong, leaving long messages. Wonder what the next message is."

Answering machine: "Second message" (beep): GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRANDFATHER ON MY FATHER'S SIDE GOT INTO THE MACHANICAL BUSINESS. THE IDEA CAME TO HIM ONE DAY WHEN-(deletes message)

Roy: 'HOW MANY DAMN MESSAGES DID HE LEAVE?!'

Answering machine: "Third message" (beep): Well, well, well, look who finally got an answering machine, it's about time you got one! This is the Furher speaking. Listen, I have a stack of papers for you to sign for the go ahead on an inspection of lab five. It shouldn't take too long, its only 465 pages. Don't forget to sign each one! beep

Roy: "More paper work? I don't have time for this! What's the next message?"

Answering machine: "Fourth message" (beep): 'Dammit, he's not there! Every time I call him he never picks up. Does he have caller ID or something? Probably has my name under "Pipsqueek," that sarcastic bastard, ALWAYS has some kind of pun waiting for me when I get there. When I get my hands on that guy I swear I'm gonna-'…'Hey, brother'…'Yea, Al?'...'Didn't Mustang get a new answering machine?'…..'Oh sh-beep

Roy: (angry twitch) "ELRIC!"

_**To Be Continued**_


	2. Part II

**Phone Messages (cont.)**

Roy: "I can't take much more of this. What's next?"

Answering machine: "ROY MY DEAR FELLOW! IT SEEMS THAT THE ANSWERING MACHINE CUT ME OFF! I HAVE TO REMEMBER TO LENGTHEN THE MESSAGE TIME! NOW, BACK TO MY STORY: THE IDEA CAME TO HIM WHEN HE FOUND A-(beep)

Roy: "I thought I blocked his number! Hawkeye!"

Hawkeye: "Yes, sir."

Roy: "Didn't I tell you to block Armstrong's number?"

Hawkeye: "Well sir, it seems that he blocked people from blocking his number."

Roy: "IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!"

Hawkeye: "Seems so, sir."

Roy: "DAMMIT! Next message!"

Answering machine: "Sixth message" (beep): Roy! You better have a good explanation for this! Laura, my sweet Laura, you stole her away from me! Gimme back my girlfriend you fiend! That's it! I challenge you to a face-off! I'll win her back yet! Just you wait, Mustang, JUST YOU WAIT! (beep)

Roy: "Looks like Havoc got dumped again."

Hawkeye: "And just who is this _Laura_?"

Roy: "…no one…"

Answering machine: "Seventh message" (beep): Hey! It's Sheska! I made a copy of all those files you requested, sir. Looks like Scar is residing in a near city to the East. Rumor has it he's after you. I'd keep a close eye on him if I were you. (beep)

Roy: "Why would he be chasing after me?"

Answering machine: "Eighth message" (beep): You know who this is. You have something of mine that I'm looking for. And DON'T think playing dumb with me is going to work either. You have Mr. Fluffikins. Meet me at the West Command Center with him or so help me God I will send you up to the heavens where you belong you dirty Alchemist! (beep)

Hawkeye: "Was that Scar?"

Roy: "Looks like it. Mr. Fluffikins he said? Man this is getting weird."

Answering machine: "Ninth message" (beep): Hey, this is Alphonse Elric reporting in. Sorry about the earlier message, brother has trouble controlling his temper sometimes…('I meant every work I said!')…Brother! Eh, well, anyway we found a lead on the Philosopher's Stone. I'll be waiting for you call. ('Give me the phone, I wanna talk to that guy!') No! This is no time for arguments, Ed! (I said gimme the phone!) No! (Al!!!!!!!!!) (beep)

Roy: (sigh) "Looks like I'll be hearing from Ed sometime soon."

_**End of pt. 2**_


	3. Part III

**Phone Messages**

**The following takes place on Roy Mustang's answering machine after a long day's work.**

Roy: "For the love of God, MAKE IT STOP!"

Answering machine: "…AND THUS HE WENT ON TO MAKE THE ANSWERING MACHINE. BRINGS TEARS TO YOUR EYES, DOESN'T IT? THAT REMINDS ME! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME-(beep)

Roy: "I'm at the 56th message and this is all that's on there?! That. is. IT! (raises hand in finger-snapping position)

Hawkeye: "Now, now, sir. I heard he's going on vacation soon so you won't have to worry about any of his lengthily messages for a while."

Roy: "I hope that's the case. Let's see what the next one is."

Answering machine: "Fifty-Seventh message"(beep): This is your final warning. You have Mr. Fluffikins. I was jumped by your officers in the West Command Center and I'm being held under heavy guard. Heh, lucky for me they give me a phone in this cell…If I don't see him within 24 hours, YOU'RE DEAD! (beep)

Roy: "I still don't know who Mr. Fluffikins is, do you?"

Hawkeye: "Must be one of his allies, sir."

Roy: "Right. Hughes!"

Hughes: "What is it, chief?"

Roy: "Run an investigation on this "Mr. Fluffikins." He might be armed and dangerous. Scour Central and all the prisons, maybe he's already in our custody."

Hughes: "Yes, sir!"

Roy: "You're dismissed. Now, where was I?"

Answering machine: "Fifty-Eighth message"(beep): Hey there, chief! Guess what? ELICIA TURNED 2 TODAY! Can you believe it?! She's already walking around and calling me "Dada"! And did I mention she's SOOOO CUTE?! I'm still debating over who she takes after, probably Gracia. And boy is she strong! She can already lift her juicy cup over her head! And to think she's only two years old, I just can't-(beep)

Roy: "I can't believe this! Doesn't he have anything better to do than to call me?!"

Answering machine: Actually, no I don't.

Roy: "…"

_**End of Pt. 3**_


	4. Part IV

**Phone Messages**

**The following takes between 4 PM and 5 PM (haha 24 ripoff :P)**

Roy: "This day could not get any worse. (sigh) Better check the inbox."

Answering machine: "You have 4…."

Roy: "Oh thank God…"

Answering machine: "….thousand new messages."

Roy: "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"

Answering machine: "First message" (beep) : Um……hi…..um…..I was wondering….well…..if I could speak to Havoc…..we met once before, I'm Armstrong's sister…..I didn't know which number to call so I called this one…um...okay…bye…I guess-

Roy: "Doesn't Havoc have his own number?"

Answering machine: COLONEL MUSTANG! HELLO THERE! IT SEEMS THE SILLY ANSWERING MACHINE CUT ME OFF AGAIN! I-(deletes message)

Roy: "I THOUGHT HE TOOK A VACATION!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Heeeeey its Laura ♥. Just wanted to say that last night was fantastic. I never knew you could bend like that. I want you so much right now(deletes message)

Hawkeye: "Who was _that_?"

Roy: "Like I said….no one…"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): I guess I finally got the right number. You might know me, the names Greed. You've been steelin' all the women away from me. Think you can outsmart me, can you? CAN YOU? Stay off my turf, flame boy, or bad things are gonna happen. (beep)

Roy: "Which death threat was that, the 419th?"

Hawkeye: "420th, sir."

Roy: "Riiiight, riiiight. Next message."

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep) MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD,AND THEIR LIKE, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS,  
DAMN RIGHT IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS, I CAN TEACH YOU,  
BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE! MY MILKSHAKE-(beep)

Roy: "…Well…looks like Feury and the boys got drunk again…"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "I can't believe you. Of all the depraved Alchemist…first Mr. Fluffikins, now SNUGGLEBEAR?! WHAT KIND OF SICK BASTARD ARE YOU? I'll find you, I SWEAR IT! (beep)

Roy: "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!"

_**End of Pt. 4**_

_**Heeeey guys! Thank you for all your reviews, they mean a lot, really! Well, as some of you may know, I get writers block and I need a little help here. I'll take one suggestion from whichever I think is the best, or maybe I'll use more than one, who knows! I know there's more to write about but I wrote four of these in one day so bear with me here. Thanks again!**_

_**K.U.**_


	5. Part V

**Phone Messages**

Roy: "Finally, a nice, peaceful day with no worries. And look, only ONE message today. Give me your best shot!"

Answering machine: "You have one new message. First message" (beep): It's me again. This time, I have your little friends with me (Ed: "Help, we've been kidnapped!")(Al: "It's dark in here!")(Ed: "I wanna go home!")(Al: "I have to go to the bathroom!") QUIET! You know what I want. Mr. Fluffikins and Snugglebear come to me UNHARMED, or feel the wrath of my right hand! FEAR IT! (Ed: "Give him what he wants, Roy, he's serious!")(Al: "Don't leave us here!")(Ed: I wanna live! I wanna live!!! I-…why is it wet?")(Al: "He-he, sorry brother…)(Ed: Al!!!!!!!)(beep)

Roy: "My God, he's taken them hostage! Only one thing to do…"

Hawkeye: "Call him back, sir?"

Roy: "Nah, that requires effort on my part. Dispatch the emergency squad and bring them back here!"

Hawkeye: "Um, yes, sir."

Roy: "That's it…THAT'S IT! No more messages! HA! I won. I WON! This calls for celebration doughnuts! Hawkeye, wait here while I pick them up."

Hawkeye: "Yes, sir!"

(Roy leaves for just five minutes and comes back.)

Roy: "I'm baaaack! With doughnuts! Care for one, Hawkeye?"

Hawkeye: "Just one, sir."

Roy: "Splendid! Hey wait…what's that beeping sound I hear?" (approaches answering machine, presses button)

Answering machine: "You have….43 new messages."

Roy: "THAT MANY IN JUST FIVE MINUTES?! Hawkeye, why didn't you pick up the phone?!"

Hawkeye: "You never asked me too, sir."

Roy: "…Hawkeye…"

Hawkeye: "Yes, sir?"

Roy: "I hate my life TT."

_**End Pt. 5**_

_**Short, I know. For my next one, fangirls get a turn to leave messages! Just leave a message in the reviews and they'll be posted :). Thanks again for all your support!**_

_**Oh! Almost forgot! Roy-Fan-33 drew fanart for Chapter 4, so copy and paste this link into your URL to see: **_


	6. Part VI

**Phone Messages**

Roy: "Happy 4th of July everyone!"

Hawkeye: "Who are you talking to?"

Roy: "Like I said before…no one…"

Answering machine: "You have…60 new messages."

Roy: "Oh dear God, here we go."

Answering machine: "First message" (beep): COOOOOOOOKIESSS. ME WANT COOKIES. SOOOO HUNGRY! GIMME GIMME! (beep)

Roy: "Wasn't that one of the Homunculi? Moving right along…"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Hey there, this is Ed and Al's trainer, Izumi. I'm thinking of making a visit up there to see the boys. I'll be there in two days. I'm looking forward to see their bright and shining faces! If I find them in any kind of danger, it'll be your head! (beep)

Roy: "Hey Hawkeye."

Hawkeye: "Sir?"

Roy: "Did we ever find the Elric brothers?"

Hawkeye: "No, sir, not yet. We should be able to get them back in time. When did she call?"

Roy: "…A day and a half ago…"

Hawkeye: "…"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Potter! I knew I'd find you. All you know has come to an end. I, Lord Vuldemort, have become the most powerful wizard in the world! Bow down before more awesome power!!!!!!!!!!-(deletes message)

Roy: "YOURE IN THE WRONG FANFIC!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): (heavy breathing) I'm coming for you, Mustang...(more heavy breathing)… your body will be mine! Muahahahaa!(beep)

Roy: "Didn't I tell you to turn on the FGF?"

Hawkeye: "What's the FGF, sir?"

Roy: "The Fangirl Filter!"

_**End of Pt. 6**_

_**Here's the site for the fanart, this should go through fine through the filter: http(colon)//www(dot)deviantart(dot)com/deviation/59024546**_


	7. Part VII

**Phone Messages**

_**//Random Note//- I just watched the previews for Samurai 7 and just had the BIGGEST orgasm ever recorded in the nation's history. It may be something worth watching ;). Anyway, show of hands: who's all going to Otakon this year? (raises hand). And as a final note, I've closed off the fangirl messages. The last thing poor Mustang needs are his ear drums busted due to the immense squealing of fangirls over a phone line. Enjoy!**_

'_**Every time a fangirl calls, a part of Mustang's hearing dies.' Remember that.**_

Roy: "Why hasn't my life ended yet?"

Answering Machine: "You have…6 new messages."

Roy: "On with the show…"

Answering Machine: "First message"(beep): BOMB BOMB BOMBOMB BOMB BOMBOMBOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB! Can you hear it, Roy? Music to my ears!-(deletes message)

Roy: "Was that…WAS THAT KIMBLEY?!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): WHERE ARE ED AND AL?! I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET WITH THEM, IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE THEY'VE BEEN MISSING! WHEN I COME OVER THERE, YOU'RE GETTING A SERIOUS ASS KICKING. YOU-(deletes message)

Roy: "They're still missing? How did I get such a pathetic staff?! How hard can it be to find a giant suit of armor and a pipsqueak?"

Hawkeye: "Harder than you think, sir."

Roy: "Did I ask you?!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Did it work?? ZOMG, HI ROY-KINS! WE WUV YOU! ('LEMME SPEAK TO HIM!') I WANT YOUR KIDS ROY, YOU'RE SO HOT! ('I WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE YOUR UNDERWEAR!') '...the hell you say that for, idiot?!' (I couldn't help it!) 'Son of a bi-(beep)"

Roy: "Care to explain how this one got through, Hawkeye?"

Hawkeye: "Well, sir, they said they had a call about some 'urgent matter', so I guess it escaped through the Fangirl Filter."

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "So, you returned Mr. Fluffikins and Snugglebear. Didn't think you had it in your, alchemist. The tin man and small fry here...(DON'T CALL ME SMALL!)...will be returned in 48 hours. Still, you haven't heard the last of me yet. (beep)

Roy: "Funny how thing just fix themselves like that."

Hawkeye: "Indeed, sir."

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): MUSTANG, DEAR FELLOW! I'M CALLING FROM THE BEACH! WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE TO TAKE A VACATION! IT HAS BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG LINE TO-(deletes message)

Roy: That's it! NO MORE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! (torches answering machine)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later…

(Door knocks.)

Roy: "Yea, what is it?"

(door bursts open)

Armstrong: "ROY! I'M BACK FROM VACATION! BUT I HEARD ABOUT YOUR LITTLE DILEMA, YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE MYSTERIOUSLY GOT TOURCHED AND THROWN OUT OF A FIVE STORY BUILDING. HOW TERRIBLE! LUCKY FOR YOU, I GOT YOU A NEW ONE!"

Roy: "NOOOOOOOO!"

_**End of Pt. 7? I can't keep track anymore lol**_


	8. Part VIII

**Phone Messages**

_**//Random Note//: Can you spot a reference to another anime:3.**_

Roy: "This new answering machine better have caller ID."

Hawkeye: "The phone has the caller ID, not the answering machine, sir."

Roy: "Can't I have dreams?"

Answering machine: "First message" (beep): Ed? Al? This is Winry speaking. You still promised to buy me more mechanical supplies for my shop! I want a new wrench and some bolts and a new screw driver and a welder and a-(beep)

Roy: "Does she ever shut up?!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep). Hello there Roy dear, this is your grandmother calling. You never come to visit me anymore, why is that? It's so lonely over here. You haven't returned any of my phone calls. I baked you some cookies, you should swing by and have some. Well, I'll be seeing you, sweetie. Mwah! (beep)

Roy: "…This is so embarrassing…"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Arittakeno yume o kakiatsume, sagashi mono sagashini yuku no sa, POCKET no COIN, soreto YOU WANNA BE MY FRIEND? WE ARE, WE ARE ON THE CRUUUUUUUUISE! WE ARE!(beep)

Roy: "FEURY!!!!!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Hey Mustang, it's Fallman. There's a documentary of sea lions on the Discovery Channel, you gotta see this! (beep)

Roy: "HOT DIGGITY-DOG!" (runs to the TV)

_**End Pt. 8**_

_**Short, I know. But hey, who DOESN'T like the Discovery Channel? xD**_


	9. Part IX

**Phone Messages**

_**//Random Note//: I wrote a Suspense/Action FMA fic if it interests anyone :). It's called "A Brother Gone Missing.". Tally-ho and on with the show! (I made in rhyme on purpose xD)**_

TV: "And so the meerkat burrows a hole to escape its predator…"

Roy: (eating popcorn) "I can't wait to see what happens next!"

Hawkeye: "Sir, you have new messages."

Roy: "But…meerkats Hawkeye…MEERKATS."

Hawkeye: (whips out gun) "I suggest you press that button, sir."

Roy: "Okay! –cough-psychobitch-cough-"

Answering machine: "You have…3 new messages. First message (beep): Hey there, you stud. I thought I might find you at this number. I've been watching you, flame boy, wanna set my heart on fire? (deletes message)

Roy: "…Envy?"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "Roy! How ya been? Guess what? ELICIA CAN ADD 5 AND 5! She's going so fast, you know, you have to come see her she's like a baby genius! Soon she'll be lifting TWO sippy cups over her head! Isn't that just-(deletes message)

Roy: "Didn't I block his number too?!"

Hawkeye: "Well, sir, we attempted to block his number, but he blocked us from blocking his number, so we found a way around him blocking us then we blocked him again, only to find that he just used another phone number…"

Roy: "...(slams head on desk)"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): "This is the federal government calling, we noticed you hadn't done your taxes for months. I'm afraid we're going to have to repossess some of your items. We'll be over in five minutes.

Roy: "Federal government…?"

(Door bursts open) "I'm special agent James Smith of the federal government, I'm here to repossess your belongings."

Roy: "Now just wait a minute, a federal government doesn't exist in this world!"

Smith: "Oh…well, we're taking your stuff anyway." (snickers)

Roy: "But-!"

Smith: "This TV looks nice, I'll take this."

Roy: "NO! I was just watching that!"

Smith: "Oh? What do we have here? Fancy-looking piece of equipment you have here…" (picks up answering machine). I think I'll take this along with me, too."

Roy: "THANK GO-I mean…(sarcastic voice) Nooooo please don't take it! It's so dear to me."

Smith: "Sorry, it's coming with me. This should pay off your taxes. Have a good day!" (slams door)

Roy: "At last, NO MORE MESSAGES! VICOTRY IS MINE! (leaps into power stance)."

(Door bursts open again)

Roy: "What now!?"

Armstrong: "ROY! I SAW THAT MAN MAKE OFF WITH YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE! TURNS OUT HE WAS JUST A THEIF TRYING TO TAKE PEOPLE'S PERSONAL BELONGINGS DISGUISED AS SOME MEMBER OF A PHONY GOVERNMENT. NEVER FEAR! I TURNED HIM INTO THE POLICE AND GOT YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE BACK! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?"

Roy: "YOU'RE FIRED!"

Armstrong: "YOU DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO FIRE ME."

Roy: "Damn, you're right…"

_**End Pt…9? **_


	10. Part X!

**Phone Messages**

(Roy reading a book called "Living with your Enemy: Chapter 1, It's not as Bad as you Think!")

Hawkeye: "Sir, do you really think that self-help books apply to relationships with...inanimate objects?"

Roy: "It's my life, okay?!"

Answering machine: "First message" (beep): Hey, where's mom? She was looking Ed and Al and I can't find her. I'm boooored, I wanna play! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA-(deletes message)

Roy: "Can't she keep her kid under control?!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): I thought this was over. You returned Mr. Fluffikins and Snuggle bears and you have the guts to take them away from me?! You have my socks, return them and I won't involve anyone else. (beep)

Roy: "How does he keep losing everything? It's not my problem."

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): Hey I'd like a medium pizza with a thick crust, and for toppings I want onions, pepperoni, some anchovies-(deletes message)

Roy: "YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!"

Answering machine: "Next message" (beep): When…theeeeee…….MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE, THAT'S AMORE! (All: That's amore!) WHEN THE WORLD SEEMS TO SHINE LIKE YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH WINE, THAT'S AMORE! ('Haha! We DID have too much wine!')-(beep)

Roy: "That's IT! Hawkeye, remove all the alcohol from the dorms IMMEDIATELY! Especially in Feury's room, I can't take this anymore!"

Hawkeye: "Yes, sir!"

_**End Pt. 10**_

_**Again, short, but it makes me hungry for pizza**_!


	11. Quick Update

_**Nice to see everyone again!**_

So I've been on hiatus for a long time. School work is piling up like crazy and it doesn't look like its going to let up anytime soon. Anyway, I'm dropping by to let everyone know about my Christmas special for Roy's Answering Machine. I'll post it on, you guessed it, Christmas! Or sometime near that date…

I hope you all continue to read my most prized creation. Thank you all for your overwhelming support for this fanfiction, it's been a crazy ride! See you all in December!

FoF


	12. Part XI!

Phone Messages

**Phone Messages**

_**/Random Note: What? I'm back?! Yep.**_

Roy: "Ah, nothing like a long break to relax the mind. I'm telling you, Hawkeye, a little time away from the big guy never hurt anyone."

Hawkeye: "That's what she said…"

Roy: "…Excuse me?!"

Answering Machine: "First message" (beep): Waaa! Waaa! Baby Pharaoh wants milk! Somebody fetch me a nipple! (beep)

Roy: "I don't remember having kids…"

Hawkeye: "Of course you don't, sir."

Roy: "What's that suppose to mean?"

Answering Machine: "Next message" (beep): Hello, this is Doctor Jacobs calling from the Shambala Rehabilitation Center. I'm calling to inform you that we may have an escapee from our alcohol abuse wing that belongs to your organization, a Mr. Kain Feury? It is important that you call me back as soon as possible. Thanks, have a terrific day! (beep)

Roy: "…terrific day MY ASS!"

Answering Machine: "Next message" (beep): Believe it! (beep)

Roy: "I need to stop making friends from other TV shows…"

Hawkeye: "But you don't have any friends, sir."

Roy: "True."

Answering Machine: "Next message" (beep): Hi, I'm calling from the Laundromat down the street. You left a pair of socks in the dryer and uh, it looks like they shrunk a little bit-(beep)

Roy: "I don't remember missing a pair of socks. Wait, didn't…? Oh fu-"

Answering Machine: "Next message" (beep): Hello there, Roy Mustang. This is She. I heard about your little joke earlier. You know, the one where I supposedly said something? You know, Mr. Mustang, I don't appreciate people accusing me of saying such things. I hate it when things like that are put in my mouth…

Roy: "…that's what she said…"

_**End pt. 11**_

_**So it's been a while and I decided to make another one. It may not be up to par with the rest since I've been gone for so long. Thank you for your unending support for this fanfic. Unfortunately, I never did get around to making that Christmas special but hey, July 4**__**th**__** is up for grabs and by golly I'm going to make the best of it!**_


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